David Bowie (on fangirls)
What a star
everyone is talking about their new boyfriend and i’m just like
the ultimate bff necklace
one time in freshman year my biology teacher was teaching us about chromosomal disorders and apparently some women can have three X chromosomes and she went to go look up some pictures of what some women afflicted with this condition look like. unfortunately my teacher typed in “XXX females” and that worked about just as well as you’d expect
The Five TV Couples I’d Rather See Get a Show Instead of Cory and Topanaga
Natalie and Snake from The Facts of Life - This was the original good girl/bad boy combo. I mean, dude’s name was Snake. Natalie, the chubby girl with the bright smile, seemed the type to be relegated to sidekick status to the other girls (except Jo - Jo can only have a kickstand, not a sidekick) but Natalie became the one to experience many of the more taboo topics like date rape and “the first time.” I’d like to see where they are now. I imagine Natalie is still a successful writer and Snake is probably at home making lists like this one for his LiveJournal account.
D.J. and Steve from Full House - Steve was a wrestler. The singlet kind, not the bronzer and speedo kind. That was about as hot as you could get in the 90’s for the ladies of family television…a jock. Steve and Deej broke up at one point and then at the very end of the series we see him come back to take D.J. to her senior prom. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT??? I imagine D.J. becomes a Sunday School teacher and someone thinks Steve sounds a lot like the voice of Aladdin and asks him to start doing voice work for direct-to-video Disney sequels. Stephanie probably lives with them, too. F***ing Stephanie.
Steve and Laura from Family Matters - Possibly the couple I’m most excited about revisiting. Now that we’ve seen Jaleel White grow up…he cute! Steve was really the winner all along on Family Matters because you knew Laura would finally give in when it came down to it and he became so popular that people (including myself) started calling the show “Urkel.” When we left off, Steve was working with NASA and had to be rescued from outer space to return to Laura. He promises her he would never go back, but I’d like to see them used as the first permanent inhabitants of the Mars colony. Populating an entire planet with a race of Urkelites.
Mallory and Nick from Family Ties - Little is known about Nick and Mallory. He was an artist. She was an 80’s material girl. Nick was sort of an idiot (and so was Mallory) but I’d like to imagine he sells one great painting that becomes the box art for an avant-garde, yet incredibly popular, brand of cereal. This lands them and their three kids in the lap of luxury. With their new found wealth, their oldest son becomes a fiscally conservative republica- wait, wait, we’ve seen this before.
Zack and Kelly from Saved By The Bell - America’s golden couple. Who I wanted to be (Kelly) and who I wanted to date (Zack) through most of the early 90’s. Nothing could stop these two. Not Jeff. Not college. Not the turn of the century. Zack and Kelly do not live solely in the 90’s, they transcend. Cut to 2013: The old gang was to take a big couples trip to Mount Rushmore but Zack and Kelly can’t make it due to one of their kids having the mumps. Tragedy strikes and Screech, Lisa, Slater and Jessie Spano (she does not take Slater’s name, big surprise) all die in a fiery bus crash. Rather than letting their kids be split up, the Morris family decides to take them all in - Kelly always wanted a big family like her own large Polish one. Maybe Miss Bliss is still available for home schooling…
Home is where you can poop without social anxiety.
Cutest thing ever